Today marks just over one month until the day of my wedding 😲 So of course all things wedding related have been on my mind a lot recently.
The fitness and beauty industries love to target brides-to-be with the idea of getting “wedding ready.” But let’s be honest, what they usually mean is a weight loss plan to make you look like the “best version” of yourself (whatever that even means!). I’ve started feeling the pressure, and I’m consciously steering clear of those toxic messages. From bridal specific workouts to skincare routines promising the “perfect look” for the big day, the pressure is relentless.
Just out of curiosity, I Googled “how to get wedding ready” and came across this gem:
“Daily workouts? Torture. Protein and veggie diet? Mental warfare. Weekly skin sessions? Expensive. Loving how you look on your big day? Priceless. I started off with personal training sessions with local fitness expert. I showed him a picture of my dress. so that he could not only tailor my workouts to hit my trouble spots (the usual female-focused suspects such as toning up my triceps, flattening the lower area of my belly and strengthening and tightening up my legs) but also focus on what made sense for my dress.”
😤
Let’s break this down. First off, can we stop with the term “trouble spots”? There is nothing “troubled” about any part of our bodies. It’s normal to have insecurities, but labelling body parts as problematic is damaging. It makes people think they should have a problem with that part of their body when they shouldn’t. And the idea that feeling beautiful on your wedding day is “priceless” but getting there is “torture” is not something that should be promoted. The fact that this mindset is normalised is worrying – but, sadly, not surprising.
The article also mentioned tailoring workouts to fit the dress. But… you wear that dress for one day. Are we really expected to overhaul our lives just for one day? I get wanting to feel confident and look back on the day with happy memories. But this notion that we need to look “perfect” (again, what does this even mean) is exhausting. Also, what they have mentioned here simply isn’t possible. You can’t spot fat reduce so it’s a losing battle to even begin with!
Why can’t we feel confident without changing our bodies? Oh that’s right, because companies profit off our insecurities….
Ok, rant over.
So, what am I doing to feel “wedding ready”? Honestly, nothing.
Other than ticking things off my never ending to-do list, I haven’t changed my exercise routine, my diet, or my skincare regimen. I refuse to completely transform who I am for one day. Of course, I want to feel beautiful and love our wedding photos (I’m going to have a hair and make up artist on the day). But if looking like the “best version” of myself requires changing who I fundamentally am and want to be, then that’s a problem.
As someone who’s had an eating disorder, I know how easily these pressures can warp our self-image. I’ve been on both sides, and I never want anyone to feel as inadequate or insecure as I once did in my own skin. Changing your appearance doesn’t fix the problem, it just postpones it. What happens after the wedding, when real life resumes?
I’m choosing to step away from the pressure and embrace who I am, without flawless skin and all. It’s not a one off decision which solves everything, it’s a decision you have to choose to make every single day. Some days are harder to accept than others, especially when most of us tend to compare ourselves to others and what we see on social media. But ultimately, we don’t need to change everything about ourselves for a significant one off life event when the people coming to that event already love us for who we are.
Sending love to anyone who needs to hear this today. You really are enough, just as you are.